Where to go and what to do?

[Fighting4Wife]

Hi Kim,

Missed your post earlier. Thanks for the hugs. Need em. I will pick up my peices and move along. I really do not think I shattered the vase too bad this time.

F4W

[Fighting4Wife]

Hey WCW, I missed this one too. Geez I am slipping.

You know, at least should by now, you may bruise my feelings but necer hurt them. So SPEAK UP COWGIRL!

We all get fatigued, I sometimes wonder if it is not just supposed to be blah for awhile, then it gets better again. Who freakin knows.


F4W

[Cupcake]

F4W -

Yep, if it makes you feel any better, I STILL monitor
what I say and do around my DH. Unfortunate, but true.

I don't know if I will ever NOT think twice about
everything I say or do.

We have been reconciled for 1.5 yrs now and I still
struggle with saying ILY. Maybe someday that will change.

so, yeah, I agree, it stinks that we can't just "BE" anymore. Then again, if I had known that before my separation certain things are better left unsaid, I might
not have ever been a LBS in the first place. So I guess
I look at this as my punishment. Live and learn.

That being said, I have seen in your sitch that when you
stop the "why don't you love me the way I love you" stuff
with your DW, she starts coming around. Unfortunate that
we have to play these games in our marriages. Uggghhh.

[Fighting4Wife]

See now we are getting to the root of this. I hate playing this game. Games are meant to be played to have a winner. There are no ties in games. What I need is a tie. Where both win.

BLAH!

So I think instead of playing the "game" I think I will dance to my own song for awhile.

I agree when I try and bring my point of my needs and what I want, things turn south. I do, I mean it, I do believe she knows what to do, she just is not capable of doing it right now do to her own unhappiness with herself in general.

I hear a bottle of Cab calling my name tonight.!!!

F4W

[WCW]

Game playing, wow! that jogged a memory again. H told me a long time ago he would win this game. Huh, what would he do if he knew I quit playing?

F4W, you're getting it, dance to your own song, and let her listen if she wants to, but don't make her. And, what is your theme song this year????

ps - naive, what's Cab?

[Fighting4Wife]

Cabernet mmmmmm YUM!


My theme song right now is Jesus Take the Wheel (remember).

Other getting serius consideration:

Take This Job and Shove It
Drugs or Jesus
Do You Want Fries With That
Hell Yeah
Songs About Me
All Jacked Up
I Don't Feel Like Loving You Today


Anyone can chime in with some others

Done game playing for sure. Talked with her best friednd today and she mentioned she is worried about W also. To the point that she mentioned W needs counseling.

My fear, knowing counselors in our area, it will be counseling how to get through D withthe least amount of pain.

But I do agree the need to explore what is under her saddle.

F4W

[WCW]

Hey, F4W, what's the mood of the day?

Yes, I remember! Sit down for a minute, listen again to the song,

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Really, really think about what those words say. Don't force too much, let some things happen, and remember to have patience. And more patience. And more patience. And more patience. That's been my biggest struggle, understanding that I can't just make this all work how I want it to work, it takes way more time than I'd ever imagined. More patience.

[Fighting4Wife]

Yes, I know. I know, I know. This is my main struggle with my own personality, FIX IT and FIX IT NOW Dammit! If I can't fix it, then I am going to try harder to fix it.

I done good though last night. I was so very close to going back down the tunnel and I stopped myself. Even to the point of starting to say something and quickly rewording it to just tell her that I understood about her GF and a reminder that I am here and will help anyway I can.

You know WCW, the real big issue here is I hate to give up control. Go Figure! And so does W. To Mega Type A personalities clashing.

She leaves tomorrow for business trip and then again on Monday for services for her GF, they are giving him until Sunday at the latest.

The time away will be good for her and me also I guess.

F4W

[WCW]

FIX IT and FIX IT NOW Dammit! If I can't fix it, then I am going to try harder to fix it.

Me too, buddy! It just doesn't work that way all the time. Focus on something else you CAN fix, fill that need somewhere else for now.

Why does W go to GF services by herself, without you and kids?

[Fighting4Wife]

Good question!!!!!!

We had a bit of that talk, but I did not push it. From what I remember, she does not want the hassel of having the kids along and stressing about them as well as the ever present family drama on her side of the family.

It will be her Father and sister travelling with her. My W does her grieving alone, she tells herself that she needs nobody but yet will lean heavily on her girlfriends. So to her it is a hassel to pack up all three kids, get a hotel, drive 3.5 hours, do a service, and then drive home, this after she gets back from her business trip. It is easier to just rely of F4W to hold the fort four another 4 days and lonely nights, because I am SuperDad!

Opps, sarcasm coming through.

I offered and said WE (notice not me) want to be there for you. She said thanks but this is easier. SO it is what it is and I will do my support via the phone.

Heck, I am not going to fret on it. I am here, she can choose to have me as her emotional support or family support, wither way I am her support.

F4W