Bring mine on he knows I visit here. He has read but never joined in. And his words last night when I offered to show him what I was reading was how we all just come her and feel sorry for ourselfs and keep ourselfs unhappy. So I doubt he will be visiting soon.
I have printed out a couple of threads for my W to read. Even the one where I was talking about how nice a time I had with another woman at dinner and how it was all the things I wish I had with her. Didn't seem to have any effect. I'm pretty sure nothing will have an effect on that woman. I'm thinking of moving out just to see if she notices.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
You should tell your H that he should join in! Tell him about us! ha ha The only way things get better is for the 2 people invovled to do so....to really hear the other person...more than being heard.
That was my biggest issue. I thought I was MOSTLY right in our marriage. But when I considered that maybe my H might have a point and listened to him and tried to see his POV. That is when changes started happening.
And when change in people happens...it can be very painful! Most withdraw from it because they don't want to face it. But in the end it is much better!
This is pretty much the same post I put over on Barney's thread. I"ve been posting over there, but for the sake of clarity on this thread I thought I'd post this over here too.
Barney and Nicegal are working through issues and are gettin'together...sexually. He's told me it was "great"....I told him what I thought of it too and tried to be more descriptive for him..in essence "great"..true!
We've also discussed various things about O's that was insightful...Barney said..we should start a thread on that subject! We'll see if ole' Barn wants to start it and I"ll chime in.
Why I am posting here now, I have no idea...it is one of the busiest weeks! Below is a copy of what I wrote over on Barney's thread...earlier... At Barney's suggestion and my agreement we have scheduled sex. With our lifestyle at this point, it is necessary. We are both happy with this arrangement.
ON Thursday morning we have a quickie...well, I was up from 2-5 a.m. (tonight too...this happens once every 2 or 3 months for about 2 or 3 nights..I don't fight it...I'll take my melatonin tomorrow before I got to bed though). Anyway, then one of our kids couldn't sleep and I was up with him for an hour...he kept begging to go in our bed...after an hour I gave in.
Barney was understanding of it. He saw my effort and knows our kids sometimes.
Well..what I did differently right away after we both laughed about what happened..I told him to drop the kids off at school and come back for a quickie...so we did!
Really puts a spring in your step for the day!
I know that this action shows him I love him, I want him, and I want a great R with him. I know that doing this sort of thing even when it is tough to fulfill will demonstrate my change of heart.
I know people mostly tell about the challenges here. It is just easy for me not to post good stuff that might encourage someone else. But, ha ha I'm up anyway at 4:30 a.m.! Although, I'm going back to sleep now for another 2 hours!
I know that this is only 2 weeks. But, I'll keep posting, maybe ole' Barn will add a few comments..to let you know how we are doing.
Well..what I did differently right away after we both laughed about what happened..I told him to drop the kids off at school and come back for a quickie...so we did!
Good! for both ou you.
In the financial world, some investors ask which fund to put their money in for maximum return. The better answer is not which fund but to encourage them to start now with a vanilla or conservative fund.
Too many people wait till they supposedly find a more perfect inveastment tool. It is not about finding a "high flyer," it is about doing "something" to get started that seperates the winners from the losers over time.
What is so nice is that Barney is offering to give me back rubs (which I love) and is helping me with things around the house (which I love, then I have more time with my family).
Bottom line...Barney is a really great guy when he gets "IT".
I was thinking today about how STUPID it is not to have sex. I just decide that I am going to get in the mood, if I am not. All the time wasted in arguing, posting, and etc. if put into sex...well, ha ha there are a lot more hours in my day. Plus then, sex is way more enjoyable than being upset with each other! Go figure.
I am still getting used to being back "in the saddle" and have some hurts that I am working through. But they are only emotions to work through, not my belief of who I know my H to be. So I am acting on my belief in him and not in past hurt feelings...I know that in a bit of time, those will all be ok.
It is great to have my marriage back again and even better! I talk about more things now about sex and I'll get better at it too!
Nicegal ...I switched to this happy face because it looked more "sexy" and like a little icon who has gotten it.
Such good news!! I am so glad for you and Barney that you have been able to re-start something. I know how awkward it can be to schedule sex, but sometimes it's what you have to do. And you suggesting the quickie… fantastic!!! I know if my H ever suggested that out of the blue, with no prior planning, I would be on top of the world!
You are stepping outside your comfort zone and doing more, I hope Barn is giving to you too!
Hugs, Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
