Thank you for your post. There were a few times in our marriage that Barney could have won the award for Romance! One time was our 15th wedding anniversary..he'd bought the book (a great one) "1,000 Ways to Be Romantic". He just picked out some of the suggestions and did them. 10 years later...my heart STILL goes pitter patter thinking about it.
He like the majority of men need a book like that. Just do what it says to do. Write it down in your Daytimer. ha ha.
Barney just didn't do it often enough or to my liking. And because I wanted it so much I felt that pretty much I had to always have it regularily...as it made me emotionally there for sex. While that is true. I think that my mentality was if he did all 10 things I wanted, I'd have thought of 3 more hoops to jump through. So his negative attitude toward romance is in part what I helped create.
I'd notice everything he didn't do that I wish he'd do rather than have a grateful attitude about what was.
On our 10th anniversay he wrote me the most beautiful poem about our life up until then. I need to find that.
I was just a spoiled little brat...and didn't know it.
I accept that he's a guy and doesn't naturally see those things. I also know that when he does open the door for me or bring me flowers, or whatever...he has to make an effort.
There have been about 7 years of our marriage that Barney was in a real funk. Hopeless. What he's described here. Our entire marriage has not been that. But we've been gradually coming out of that...and we are LIGHT YEARS ahead of where we were in our R when we were both here the first time..fighting it out.
We are not where we want to be...but we are at least talking and forgiving...and that was non-exsistent 2 years ago.
