My H has NEVER used the word inept. I'm sorry for making it sound that way. I just feel that way after the conversation. And, usually, and unforutnately it was probably not in conversation but argument!
Those of which I will never do again. Argue about Sex. VERY destructive!
You suggestion about jumping in the shower is good. I wish I'd have been mature and secure enough to do that one years ago. I might not be where I am today.