I haven't read this thread closely enough to take sides. Without trying to place blame, without trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong, I see something very familiar in the dynamics of this thread and in the sitches of many people who find themselves on the DB board.
The dynamics on this thread remind me of an R in which people take a stand, become increasingly polarized, put more and more ego on the line, become more and more sure of their rightness and the other person's wrongness, take on the role of the victim, and block themselves in separte corners in which all they can do is posture in the hopes that the other person will breakdown. The polarized positions are so extreme and the parties so stubborn, none has a clue as to how to create space for reconcilliation without requiring that they be proven right and the other person breakdown. The stakes move to the level of rightgeous indignation on one side that can only be salved by humiliation on the other side. There looks to be no way back.
I think things have gotten to this point partly because of the actual interaction on the thread, partly because many of us are prone to this kind of pride and stubbornness, and partly because we are projecting the anger of our own current stuck sitches (or past stuck sitches) onto this thread.
It will be interesting to see if reconciliation can occur and trust rebuilt in this microcosm that mirrors so much of what is or has been a problematic dynamic in many of our Rs.
