Quote: Example of a woman who diminishes a man's "feelings"? Have you read ANY of my posts here? Ms. Hdog constantly diminishes my feelings as merely an expression of the toxic effect of testosterone on my body.
HD, I fully agree with you that your wife diminishes your feelings. In fact, I pointed out to Cobra that one way a woman could do this would be by saying, "I feel that your feelings are inconsequential and unimportant."
And that's what your wife does.
I have also pointed out that it's something of a cultural joke that women are only saying/feeling X because of PMS or she's being hormonal.
And from my chair of personal cosmic importance, I see the reciprocal of the societal tendency to discount male feelings with the societal tendency to discount a female's ability to reason, 'cause she's so emotional, you know. Anyone encountered this?
I am only trying to point out that this particular sword has two sharp sides. I agree that women discount men's feelings. Is there any agreement that men also discount women's feelings?
The assertion that I have taken issue with isn't that women CAN diminish men's feelings but that:
*A woman expressing her feelings diminishes a man's feelings.*
Here's an excerpt from the previous postings:
Me: Can you give me some examples of women diminishing men's feelings?
Cobra: "It seems I’ve got you thinking about something, though I’m not sure what… "
(Just in case my "reader" was off, I read this aloud to NOP and asked him if it sounded pi$$y and he said it sounded the same to him. In case it is proposed that NOP's just agreeing with me to not hurt my feelings (har!) I have to point out that he has expressed agreements with some of Cobra's points about which we've been discussing the past couple of days. )
Me: I don't know how to read this, but it comes across to me as offensive. I can't tell if you're trying to take credit for my thought processes or if you're telling me that I've been unclear in what I posted."
Cobra: Thank you, you’ve answered your own question for me. Men generally do not jump to get confront each other so quickly if they feel they have been offended. The general model for boys is to let things slide, blow it off, don’t get into a confrontation unless necessary. Girls are taught to express their feelings as soon as they are hurt. Your response was perfect!" ======================
My question has been and continues to be, how has my telling Cobra that I found his response offensive diminish his feelings? He can tell me that no offense was meant, that offense was meant and I just need to butch up, or he can tell me to f#ck off. But what I wrote doesn't keep him from expressing whatever opinion, feeling or emotion that he wants to express. Nor did I preemptively discount it.
But, he has not shown how my expression diminished his feelings.
I can only assume that since he has failed to do so, that he either mispoke in his earlier assertion, or he has no example to show how I have done so.
