I see the distinction you are drawing. Corri made a point earlier that "fixers" are often trying to control the relationship in a passive-aggressive way. It's a subtle point but an important one. Here's my take on it: if you're a man and you are trying to fix the relationship, you could appear whiny. This is not effective.
I'm with you. My wife is frequently irrational. I constantly have to set her straight. This is not the fault of feminism. My mother was goofy much of the time, and my Dad finally gave up on her. He didn't divorce, but sought refuge outside the marriage. It was horrible. I kind of hoped feminism would obviate situations like this, but I was wrong. It's psychological warfare on a daily basis in a marriage. It always has been. We men used to have an advantage we no longer have, so we have to change our tactics. I'm not saying men are superior; only different. It's best to exploit the best of those differences.
I'm glad you started this post. It's gotten me thinking. Paul
