Quote: I do not usually sense this same obligation in women. Rather I feel women tend to diminish men’s feelings because they don’t think men don’t really know what they are feeling anyway, right? So not only do women ignore men’s feelings, but they convince themselves that men don’t feel and if they do feel, they are feeling the wrong thing and need to be taught otherwise. That “otherwise” becomes the woman’s perspective of emotional content. Men have their own perspective. That is all I am saying. And it doesn’t mean he loves you any less.
Can you give me some examples of women diminishing men's feelings? Not being testy, this just doesn't ring true in my life and relationships. (Also, I must point out that I do believe that there has been a forced feminization on boys as a result of institional schooling.) But I don't see this as a "don't think men really know what they are feeling" as much as it is a institutional tendency to reward traditional girlish behavior and to punish traditional boyish behavior.
In fact, my experience has been that women's emotions have been discounted, negativized. Assertive women are labled bitches, assertive men are labled authoritative. Emotional women are labled hysterical, or their feelings are shunted aside as being the result of PMS.
And in regards to the assertions that women make men responsible for their feelings - I think that this is more of a gender-equal issue. I know from reading what you've posted about your marriage, that I don't get the impression that your wife is pushing for you to be responsible for her feelings as much as she is being very insensitive to yours. I do acknowledge the limitations of info expressed of forums, and therefore acknowledge that my impression could be totally off-base.
