Re Cobra I can understand the situation of LD women who are trying address their marriage problems but I cannot understand those who do not, like OG_Lou’s W.
Cobra and all. Some of BB’s problems are nothing I or she can not make many changes. Those problems are aging (vaginal wall thinning), her former breast cancer treatment (radiation and Tamoxifen see (http://www.breastcancer.org/tre_sys_tamox_idx.html) for how it works), hysterectomy=no ovaries and she can’t take any hormones due to the former breast cancer, it was hormone dependent. So I understand those issues.
Some can be worked around successfully, some just have to be worked with as best as she and I can. I am not giving BB a free pass and saying she can never be much of a sexual person. I know there is still some sexiness within her mind and body somewhere and at some times. Sometimes I think BB really likes to be sexual with me, other times, well it is a poor/bad experience for one or both of us.
Yes she could do a lot more!
To see things from a Woman’s POV, read these web sites [url=http://www.breastcancer.org/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php]breastcancer.org[/url] especially the “Moving Beyond Cancer” forum, and Sexual Health Groups & Boards at [url= http://www.hisandherhealth.com/cgi-bin/ubb_newshe/ultimatebb.cgi ]hisandherhealth.com[/url] is about half way down the page, or use this address Click on Red Hot Mamas is at [url=http://www.hisandherhealth.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?/forum/11.html]Red Hot Mamas[/url]
So I believe many dysfunctional people in relationships will not change until they have to. I agree cobra. I think it is like this for many people but not all couples.
Back to the book. I wished it was that easy but realize the whole dynamics of any relationship can not be boiled down to what Schlessinger seems to indicate. Like Cobra said, some or significant movement in the direction of Schlessinger’s book would make many guys much happier.
As for women taking the book literally, all/most of the time, I don’t have hope that that will happen very often and maybe if they did, it would not be good for the R long term. Someone would feel taken advantage of and the other person might start to feel entitled.
I think her book is good to the point, that some women need to consider her somewhat over simplified, over “men are still cave men” like attitude ideas and women should think about them (the book’s concepts) when interacting with her man. I think some of Schlessinger’s ideas have things in common with BlackFoot’s ideas, that people are wired biologically to tend to act certain ways and respond to certain traits/actions of a mate.
Lou, I personally think you really see your situation as a glass half empty, while trying to justify to yourself that you see it half full. Half full does not work very well. It means I have been short changed and that comes across as me being/feeling needy. I try, though unsuccessful at times, to think I might be perceived as someone with hope and attract positive outcomes to situations.
