Gotcha, HP! What I am saying is that the 'feed, sex and admire him' thing will raise his level of contentment and happiness significantly. Beyond that - it still goes back to the principles of boundaries and stating your preferences and whether or not he is willing to step outside his comfort zone and on to the plate. If I hadn't drawn a boundary, I doubt he would even have looked to see where the plate was at, regardless of his level of happiness.
Personally, I think your H still battles resentment, though he may not tell you this. The "I am not like this." is code for "I don't want to do this." Can you explore why he is resentful? Like Cobra said, he may feel that nothing he ever does is enough. This is a biggie with my H too, although he is finally becoming convinced that I am not a bottomless well of wants and needs.
