This is an excellent thread. I have to get this book. For the record, I am the HDW and entered this relationship with distinct feminist tendencies. In my own experience, the 'feed him, sex him and admire (respect him)' theory has been proven correct. I believe this can be applicable to some LDH situations because men are men, regardless of their sex drive. My H is quite fond of reminding me that he is just a simple guy and it doesn't take much to make him happy. While 'much' is a relative term, there is some truth to that!
Cobra, you make some excellent points. My H has tried to make some of these points, but I probably filter what he says. Can you expound more on the "action based communication" of men? I see this a LOT with H. When I try to approach him verbally, he tends to get defensive and clam up, and he will sometimes attack because he knows it is the way to shut me down. Very often, though, his subsequent actions will show that he has heard me. As a woman, this is not validating to me. Maybe all I need is to learn that actions speak louder than words, lol!
