I do understand what you are saying, and for me...it's perhaps the wording and my interpretation of your wording that makes me feel you have a spin on things. Not saying, you aren't entitled to it though.
What you are saying on this thread, and on another...is a fundamental problem between the genders. Men are "programmed" one way...and so are we women. I truly do feel though that you are short-changing us women though when it comes to mens feelings.....("I feel women tend to diminish men’s feelings because they don’t think men don’t really know what they are feeling anyway, right? So not only do women ignore men’s feelings, but they convince themselves that men don’t feel and if they do feel, they are feeling the wrong thing and need to be taught otherwise.") this is the quote I'm speaking of.
Many times....all we are looking for is communication of some type from our man that there are feelings of some kind. I for one, knew my H had feelings towards me....I knew he had strong feelings towards me (intellectually) but he wouldn't let loving gestures out towards me. I chose to conciously recognize many of his efforts as displays of love for me, working his butt off to support us, doing things around the house inside/outside to keep things nice, conciously purchasing a house & land in order to provide me with something he knew I always wanted...horses. All of those things were done because he loves me & loves our son. If I didn't recognize that....I wouldn't still be here.
I definitely don't agree with the statement of ("women being in the superior position of deciding what is right and what is wrong concerning how men should feel and express themselves?") Speaking for myself...there is no right/wrong way for how my H should feel or express himself. HOWEVER, in any R if one person (or the other) doesn't express themselves in a manner that is meaningful to the other person, things will fall apart.
I think the difficulty that HP and I might have (not trying to speak for you HP jump in if I'm wrong here) is that you are trying to speak to us from the male perspective....but you are an HD male. Therefore, while some of what you say may apply to our H's.....some of it simply doesn't apply to the LD male.
In fact now that I think about it Cobra, that probably is the problem I have with some of your comments. I feel that you try to apply them to "men" in general. Perhaps not so much that you say you are....merely that I read it that way. The fact is....I'm with an LD male, he doesn't fit into the "general mold", neither does Honeypots' H. Sure, some of what you say will apply and believe me I do listen (even if I don't always agree with you).
Absolutely everyone is entitled to their opinion and no one persons' perspective is wrong.
