Sorry, I completely disagree with you on this. To me the book is a breath of fresh air, in complete opposition to everything else I have read so far. So many of the self help books are written to change the man to become more expressive emotionally, to recognize the woman’s need for emotional connection, to realize that the man really wants this connection too, that sex is secondary (or maybe even in third or fourth place) and that women’s value system is the ideal.
Let me make a more extreme example. I would like my wife to have breast implants. It is something I, as a male, would like. The very fact that I would mention something like this is likely to trigger all kinds of attacks from women that I am objectifying my wife, I do not care for her a person, that I only want her for sex, blah, blah, blah. The fact of the matter is that I would like her to have bigger, firmer boobs rather than smaller sagging boobs. And I can want this in her and still care about her as a person, even if I want to objectify her boobs.
But this is heresy in the feminist circle. Men are made to feel guilty about thinking such thoughts. I see not reason why we shouldn’t. If I am willing to accept my wife as she is, and do not think less of her if she doesn’t get a boob job, then I should have no hesitancy in stating what I like. But I can’t. Just like I can’t tell her she looks fat on that pair of pants (no I don’t stuff a Twix bar in my face).
This book is important for me because it made me realize that I have nothing to apologize for as far as being a man and that women have been very successful in training us men to watch our words out of concern for their feelings. If women truly want to understand what men want and how to do their share in a relationship, they would be well served to follow the advice Schlessinger is giving. By the way, the ebook that Blackfoot mentioned some time ago, “The Women Men adore, And Never Want to Leave” says the same basic stuff.
