Referring to Chrome’s Valentine’s Day events, I’d like to mention that I am currently reading Laura Schlessinger’s “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” I think this is the book chrome should give his wife. The book is written from the man’s point of view and I think does a very good job of explaining men and their wants. It also does one other important thing, at least for me – it made me aware of how women can be very self-centered in their emotional needs. I have not given this much thought before (except for a few particular girls I dated in my past), but know realize that many women want men to make them happy, to address their emotional needs, and will manipulate men (unconsciously) to do these things.
Schlessinger proposes that much of this is due to the feminist movement, and I agree with her on this. I have nothing against feminism for promoting equality, but like so many other movements, this too must reach a state of balance. My point is that maybe Chrome’s wife, like mine, is so focused on how she feels and HIS responsibility to fix her feelings, that she loses sight of HER responsibility for HIS feelings.
Schlessinger also claims that most counselors these days are very feminist as well. The conventional wisdom is to make men acknowledge, feel and express their emotions in the same way women do, somehow making this the standard against which men are judged. I do not believe this has to be so, and that women have as much responsibility to change themselves toward a man’s way of thinking, like so many women on this board are doing. But I think not acknowledging the man’s needs, his way of feeling and thinking, his way of communicating, is an immature and selfish position for the wife. It is also abusive to the husband.
I am happy to say they I am in a much improved position in my relationship right now (as opposed to a few weeks ago) due to my wife seeming to now wanting to understand my needs and not just focus on her own. So now I can focus on her needs. I hope this puts us on a permanent path to recovering our marriage.
I’m sure this will raise some controversy and I would really like to hear what everyone thinks.
