Lou... Thank you for the book suggestion. I will mention it to H, but he is just not a relationship book person...he tries to " wing" life til it all comes crashing down on him, lol. Now me, on the other hand...I like to read, analyze, obsess, organize, etc in order to gain some control over my life. One thing that I will not do though is get the book ( or one like it) and do the work for him. I can help be a guide and give suggestions but he is going to have to roll up his sleeves and dig in, so to speak. The therapist is a good connection for him..he tends to rely on other people for information( he will talk to people at work and rely on what " they" say as gospel), so at least now he has someone in his corner who can provide professional support and guidance. This is a big relief for me as well.
Overall things remain good here. He seems less resentful and more giving towards me, and our sex life, while not exactly spontaneous, has been consistent. We are putting together a " fun bag" of lotions, candles, toys, etc for our trip next week. There is still work involved...not natural attraction I suppose...but he seems on board. We have to tread carefully over the past hurts and rebuild the trust.
