Balto, you are a fast learner. Usually you need to log in a minimum of 100 posts before you get a sense of the abbreviations here!
GEL... I think our H's have a lot in common in the way they handle emotions. I know my H basically wears 2 kinds of images...the "poker" face image, where he is devoid of emotion, or "Mr. Happy-go-lucky." It's hard for him to acknowledge/verbalize the darker, yuckier stuff like anger and resentment. For instance, when he came home from counseling, he told me that the therapist pointed out how his not returning his father's call had to do with underlying emotion... ( duhhh)!!! My H said that he doesn't FEEL angry...I said " no, you just act it out." I also told him not to feel bad about being clueless, that I was equally clueless when I shut down sexually during a (long) period of our marriage, and how freeing it is once you start to make the connections. I realize I became the epitome of abandonment til I started to work on myself.
Cobra... I am going to tell H just what you have said, that if the opportunity presents itself, it may be helpful to express some stuff to his father, making sure he ( my H) has no expectations of change.
Anyway...I am hoping my H's work will lead us to more intimacy and healing. I hope to follow GEL's example by being open, available, and pointing things out as necessary.I think I have become a much better wife.
