Ugh....maybe I'm not such an inspiration now....very confused and feeling emotional.
BUT, if I could make a shameless plea, could you 2 wise ladies hop on the thread and give advice, your opinions? I sure could use it...to get my head back on straight.
My 2 cents to juggle....yes, deal with the depression (certainly, this phase in life doesn't help)....the best thing you can do is put the agony of the M in the back of your mind, and focus on you, and being happy (easier said than done, as you can see with my minor meltdown of late).
Tackle one thing at a time. What do you want to change first. At this fragile time, it's hard to handle the prospect of changing ALL of you to that fabulous person you want to be. Making small changes will give you a + boost and the rest will come. You're feeling stuck, for so long. Time to unstick.
Besides focusing on YOU....what can you do that's different to unstick the R? Again, maybe a little talk? Betsey can pipe in on the keys of authentic communication...which, when done at the right time and way, is awesome (I did 2 weeks ago and it was wonderful--but then all slid downhill for unknown reason). I can bet that H isn't as happy with the status quo as you think but maybe fears the talk...and besides the men on these boards, it doesn't seem to me that men initiate this sort of thing.
Just try the talk...maybe a small one? practice it, have only a few points, but most of all, work on how you intend to be composed, how you will act/react, how you will listen and speak.
It seems that the 2 of you have had a long time with good feelings, respect and peace--such that it's a great foundation for a talk.
