Interesting topic....in these stressful times, it's so hard to focus on the demise of your M and working on you. Then, you wake up and realize that in small ways, you've already started.
In a similar situation myself, I found myself in limbo land and "acting as if" and obsessing over M. I still do, and I initially took focusing on me to mean my marital behaviors and didn't see the full picture.
Despite our turmoil, H pushed me to start working out, just to get healthier...I started and FELT GREAT...mind you, I hadn't done that in 10 years. I started going on my own, and saw that it really helped pull me out of a major depressed hole on days...really lifted my mood and self-work. I felt stronger after a workout. That made me go more...kinda like meds. I started small, and worked my way up gradually. Do it for YOU, your health, your body, to feel good about you. You need that now more than ever.
I guess I'm missing the part of feeling stuck on changing b/c you don't have a path and direction. Do you mean in reference to the direction of your M? Can you instead focus on things that do not have to do with the direction of your M? Independent of H and M? Like health, socializing, other hobbies, etc. For me, it came slowly, and was like a wake-up call when I realized how much I could do NOT tied to H, except for in my mind, which was up to me to cut off. Really, little in life is tied to them...it's powerful to realize that.
Speaking of health, we had a thread on here, that we can revive if folks want to join...
