I think THEY think there is nothing wrong with continuing to talk to them. They don't get that in our minds, no matter what level the relationship is on NOW, it is still down and dirty to us, including all the naughty things that were going on at it's peak. Sure, that's partly our problem for obsessing, but it's mostly theirs for not realizing what they're doing, or not caring. In your W's mind (and my W's mind prolly too), she thinks she IS working on the M, but that is not mutually exclusive of maintaining some contact with OM. I am relatively sure the amount of contact my W and the OM have is reduced these days but things like V-day really set me back a LONG way in believing that the A is anywhere close to over. Have faith Rob. I think once you and I are more sure of ourselves and our changes, the course we should take will be clearer whether that is talking to our W's, DBing some more, or God forbid, breaking things off ourselves. I really think the current path we are on will lead us to the ability to know the right thing to do, and when to do it. Don't ask me how I know that, it's just a hunch.
