Need to find my center!!!

[PArob]

You sound like you're doing great. Keep it up. It's natural to slip here and there. Like you said, it's all in the overall handling of the situation that matters. I think you did fine. It was very similar to my slip on V-day. No biggie.

Thanks, overall the sitch wasn't all that bad and I've moved beyond it....

Insight please. How is it that they can seemingly rejoin our lives, even put some amount of effort into it, and still carry on in some way with the OM? Did you do that? What is/was the reasoning behind it? Fear of losing the OP? Fear of the M failing to deliver for you?
It was almost easier to understand when my W had virtually no contact with me and almost nothing to say. Now she acts like our life is just going on business (well, no BUSINESS) as usual. Is this her way of testing the waters?
I am having a really hard time with this, as my thread can attest to. Our W's seem to understand what they are doing is wrong yet still do it.

This is the one area that I struggle with, mightily. My sitch was a little different because when I finally was confronted, I started to make the changes come about to put myself back into the M....of course, I went about everything as situation normal the best I could....

In my W's situtation, she knows, that I know that she is still continuing this thing with OM, but insists that everything BE situation normal. I've been told "not to dwell on it", or the other one I like "I'm still here"....she knows exactly what it feels like, but doesn't seem to understand that I feel the exact same way she did. Strangely, I agree, when they don't want anything to do with us, then at least you can understand that, but when they want to live a "normal" life with you, but continue doing what they are doing....I guess its all about their comfort zone really. And I think to some extent the addiction factor is another. In some respects, I think it is a fear of losing...they know that the life they have with us is important, but yet there's this other thing that's tugging at their sleeves...maybe its a fear of hurting as well. I know my W doesn't want to hurt me or our girls, but I also think that she feels that giving up the OM will hurt him as well.

SIGH I just don't know, my W knows what she is doing IS wrong....she's already expressed that to me....but yet it continues and, here's the part that I love, I'm not supposed to say word one about it.

Oh, and tell the OM I happy birthday and I hope he has at least 1 more...or not...ouch, that was mean. Sorry. Didn't really mean that...lol.

Yeah, maybe I'll give him a call, send him a card. Well secretly and, shhhh, don't tell anyone I said this (he he), he turns 43 today....I'm hoping that he's a risk factor or something for like heart disease or some other ailment....