Well, here's another thing I am thinking and that probably applies to many situations. As important as it is to be direct with things, I also think it's important to do it in context. What I mean by that is for me to bring up the bear now is totally out of context from when I first started thinking about it, or first noticed it. The time to have been direct was when I first noticed it, and SHE knew I noticed it, not now. For me, I have a terrible problem with obsessing about things and so I think it's important that I learn to say what I feel/think IN THE MOMENT and not wait until three days later when it becomes painfully obvious to my W that I have been stewing all that time. I have always done that and I think it sends a terrible message and more than that, is unhealthy. From now on I am going to try to be honest with myself AND her. When something bothers me I am either going to be direct and say so, or forget about it. This thing I have always done no longer serves me. Thank you OT and the gang for helping with this. The bear lives to see at least one more day...just because I'm not talking to her about it doesn't mean something bad won't happen to it...lol.
