I can completely understand where you are coming from with the GAL. When I worked in Special Events as well as in the Entertainment industry my idea of GAL was going home and chilling out. Constantly being around people, catering to them etc...actually wore me out. Plus we respectfully do know our roles as responsible parents. I think the base of the GAL principal is to not go crazy and have your own midlife crisis, but to remember that you are a person with your own needs. When we initially find ourselves in these sitches, we are beyond reason, some of us border line obsessive towards the WAS and the R. GAL is to help those step back and take the focus off the WAS and put it back on us. However, as we move forward and drop the rope I think we find ourselves in an peaceful state then we don't need all the GAL which I think is just an escape for us. When all this happened to me, I went from going out twice a week to three times a week. It did become an escape from me. But now I don't need it. The reward is not as great as it was initially. I haven't been out in almost 3wks. Haven't really thought about it until the past couple of days and tonight hmmm contemplating going out. Who knows. I'm more at peace with myself these days. I don't need it as much as I did. I enjoy my company, my time alone to think. I am probably also sick of all the drama that follows me when I do go out. LOL. I also think some people cannot handle being alone and need the constant escape which doesn't make them much different from what the WAS has done.
The key my friend is to find a healthy balance in ourselves. Finding our way in the world again...perhaps finding that way with the WAS and perhaps not. Some of us find that once we make those changes that are true to us, we no longer want the R that we had.
In your sitch, your GAL perhaps affected your M and it's good that you can see this. You realized this with your decision regarding attending the basketball game and W did take notice. Keep with your program of monitoring responses from her.
Regarding the incident of your W wearing different from normal sleepwear, I do find this huge. I grew up in Cali...most of my friends along with myself dressed to go to sleep...why because of earthquakes. LOL...funny I know but hey no one wants to get caught in the midst of one bare ass nakked. Depending on who I have been with in my life determined my sleeping apparel through the years. The more intimate I was in an R, the less I would wear. When you get settled into a ritual with someone (honeymoon being over) you tend to start not thinking about things like this and start dressing for sleep more comfortably, pjs, tshirts and sweats...etc. Just my thoughts.
