I think you all make valid points. I am in one of those limbo times where things SEEM ripe for reconciliation but I know the OM is still lingering, if not fully involved in my W's life. It's these times I start to wonder if a change of tactic is in order. Conventional wisdom says that DB got me here and I should (and do) trust it to get me to my eventual goal of building a better, more secure marriage with my W. I think I am making decent progress towards that ultimate goal and some of the smaller goals have been accomplished and set aside. I guess I am just uncomfortable with this thing that seems like stagnation. I have been so conditioned to taking action that this time where INACTION may be called for is difficult. I have also found that true to the advice I have received and even GIVEN, now that things are returning back to slightly more normal in my R, my guard is dropping and I am probably too close to saying or doing things that may backfire (R talk and pursuing affection). I will back off on each right now.
One bit of journaling. I read all over this site that our WAS need time to miss us if they are to realize what they have in us. I don't think my W has missed me at all. I have never been that far away in all this. It scares me a bit. On the other hand, she has definitely noticed my changes. The entire house is a more calm, peaceful place since I truly recognized my role in all this and too decisive action to change. For my W, the changes may be enough, or maybe they won't be. We'll see.
