Here's my take on DBing. I truly believe that forcing an end to the A is extremely counterproductive for a variety of reasons. Number one, and I know my W, forcing her to a decision will only lead to resentment. If I force her to stop, assuming of course that she does, it is likely that she will resent me. Also, we always long for the things we can't have. Sounds rather juvenille, but think about it. The "forbidden fruit" always tastes the best in our minds. If we do not allow them to come to their own decisions, the OP will always be the forbidden fruit, something that they will always look back upon and wonder whether it was worth the risk.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather have my W choose this life because SHE wants it...not because I forced her hand. If I were to do so, wouldn't I always question whether it was a choice made out of love or just committment?
Besides, DBing is good for us because, when followed to a "T", it allows us to step back and examine ourselves within the context of the R. This is essential because we all know that we cannot continue to pick up the M right where it left off. Things have to be different.
That's my two cents worth....for what its worth.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
