Quote: I've missed you (and others) posting to my thread.
It does seem to have been a quite weekend around here, hopefully that's a good sign.
Okay, since we are doing book reports I might as well fess up. I've been reading "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman re: affairs and there was another one I read but the name escapes me right now. In any event, I really didn't find much use in those books. They both were good at describing why A's might or might not happen and such, but I didn't find much in the way of self-help. I'm trying to work on building myself, not over-analyzing the A.
I highly recommend Mars/Venus, very insightful stuff there.
Quote: I guess I understand this, but impatience and worry creep in all the time. So, she could be clinging to those things (shirts, songs, etc) that tie her to him and maybe it's not necessarily a sign that she's still going strong with him?
Yes, patience. Never one of my strong suites either. But if there every is a time to address a character flaw, this is it. I still exhibit this impatience from time to time and Saturday morning was no exception....I just felt really used at that moment, but for no apparent reason.
As for giving up the "items"...this is another major sticking point for me. I know that she has at least two cd's that he gave to her that are in heavy rotation in her listening schedule. Listening to her listen to those CD's can really trigger a lot of emotion for me, but she isn't giving them up. Just as an aside, I remember when I was going through my moment, the OW had burned a CD for me, nothing romantic, just a CD. W found it and immediately insisted that I get rid of it, which I did. Where's the reciprocity?
But I digress, she is still holding on to these things because she still feels whatever connection that they represent....not necessarily him, but maybe just the feeling of being "loved". I don't know if that's coming across right, but our W's are on a high typically known as puppy love. We all know what that feels like and it can be intoxicating. Its hard to give that up.
By the way, I know you watch Grey's Anatomy, and we started watching it just recently. I think I hated this past episode.
Quote: It's at times when I see this that I feel compelled to "give her a push" or a pull if you will to help her over the hurdle. I know I can't though. She says she still loves me and knows she doesn't want a D, then why not just END the A and do what's right!
Yes, I get this all the time as well. On Sunday, W made it a point to tell me that her place is here with me and the girls, that she wants to be here, she loves me, etc. OK, I like that, but why does she compelled to keep her R with OM? I guarantee you she'll be calling him this week and seeing him at work. So, if you know this is where you need to be, then why play with fire? Its those times that I can really get impatient, but we must remember that we cannot control what they do. Knowing that she knows that means a lot becuase she is actually looking at things realistically. Again, this sitch cannot go on forever.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
