Thanks Rob, and your words calmed me a bit. I've missed you (and others) posting to my thread. I didn't mention it before but I have been reading The Little Book of Letting Go for awhile now. I am about 1/2 way through. Pretty good stuff. So long as we are doing book reports, I also read Transforming Yourself and was not that impressed. Lots of good quotes from other psychologists and theories, but not much in the way of actual tools to use in taking action. Good for philosophy, not so good for instruction.
My next book will be Mars/Venus. I think I need to start understanding male/female communication MUCH better, especially on this trip!
Quote: With regard to your W, you're probably right. She's not exhibiting those signs that we all long to see, but that necessarily doesn't mean bad things. She is confused, she likely knows that her place is there with you, but this "addiction" is pulling at her. It has to die its own death and it seems as though she is letting go to some degree. It won't happen overnight...for some reason she feels connected to the OM and giving up that connection is never easy.
I guess I understand this, but impatience and worry creep in all the time. So, she could be clinging to those things (shirts, songs, etc) that tie her to him and maybe it's not necessarily a sign that she's still going strong with him?
Quote: The way I see it, at least when viewing my sitch, is that in the end, they always must make a choice. I know for my W, it is emotionally impossible for her to carry on two lives for very long. I can see the affects of it already.
Yes, I see that too. My W has said more than a few times that this needs to end, yet she seems not to be able, or willing to end it. It's at times when I see this that I feel compelled to "give her a push" or a pull if you will to help her over the hurdle. I know I can't though. She says she still loves me and knows she doesn't want a D, then why not just END the A and do what's right!
Quote: The best thing you can do right now GH is to stay your course. You've been doing so well in all this and I'd hate for you to jump ship at the wrong time. Remember, you have chosen to stick by this for at least another couple of weeks and THEN re-evaluate where you are. Stick by that committment. Let the trip be what it is, don't expect the world, but have fun with it. Don't dwell on the negatives here. Patience.
Patience. Never one of my virtues. I am working on it. I am going to stick by my goal. I did good yesterday by NOT confronting her about going out. I decided that it was not in keeping with my goals so I let it go...or at least as much as I could. In the end, I actually accepted (better NYS?) her when she said she went alone. I think she may have indeed.
