Funny, there's a multitude of things about my W's actions that speak so loudly. What used to pass for normal life for us has been cast aside. Some days its not so bad, but others it really starts to get to me. A few of the things I've noticed is that she requires a lot more sleep these days then she used to (granted, she works pretty hard, but she always has been motivated to do so much), the "love" music, the contstnt angst regarding her appearance (weight control, clothes, etc)...in short, its about her, not about the family unit. Funny, at times her guilt really shines through when it comes to these things.

With regard to your W, you're probably right. She's not exhibiting those signs that we all long to see, but that necessarily doesn't mean bad things. She is confused, she likely knows that her place is there with you, but this "addiction" is pulling at her. It has to die its own death and it seems as though she is letting go to some degree. It won't happen overnight...for some reason she feels connected to the OM and giving up that connection is never easy.

The way I see it, at least when viewing my sitch, is that in the end, they always must make a choice. I know for my W, it is emotionally impossible for her to carry on two lives for very long. I can see the affects of it already. In her head, she knows that her place is with me and the girls...she has said this on many occasions, but she needs time to work through the feelings she is having. It is likely that your W is going through the same thing.

The best thing you can do right now GH is to stay your course. You've been doing so well in all this and I'd hate for you to jump ship at the wrong time. Remember, you have chosen to stick by this for at least another couple of weeks and THEN re-evaluate where you are. Stick by that committment. Let the trip be what it is, don't expect the world, but have fun with it. Don't dwell on the negatives here. Patience.

By the way, I know NYS had suggested this some time ago, but I just recently got a copy of "The Little Book of Letting Go"....a very inspirational read. I would suggest that if you have the time, check it out.


"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu