It seems like in this particular situation it would be ok to discuss going vs not going with your w. I wouldn't consider this an R talk, merely an act of consideration. Just say, " Look, it seems as if you don't want me to go to this game tonight. I have no problem missing the game but I was going to take some pictures of... because he requested it. If you would like me not to go then I'll get some photos of him the next time. It's not a problem either way."
I don't know, something along this line. If she tells you straight up what she wants (which seems to be a new 180 for her) then listen. If she seems to be pulling the it's ok go but uses actions to show otherwise then don't be pulled into the game playing.
