I think your prediction will be RIGHT on and I love your advice of what to do. I am going to do my best to validate.
For you, and everyone else, I do have a question. How is it that these people (WAS) seem to think everything is about them, EVEN things WE do. I ask because whenever I tell her I am going out, or doing something, she assumes it is a reaction to something she did or said. I mean I can't go to the bathroom without her thinking it's revenge for her affair. When I told her I was taking the boys out for Valentines day she asked why? Um, because I want to take them out. Oh, you mean is it because I am going out and you're pissed so you don't want to be here? No, I want to take my sons out and have fun instead of wallowing in self pity. I guess I do a poor job of "as if" sometimes but even when I am legit in doing something for myself she takes credit for it. Geez.
