GH, I'm here..I'm here okay? I'm thankful that OT has reached out to you. She's one helluva together lady I have to say. In fact OT, if you get the chance we've started a thread in Survived. I think it would be nice to get your input Done Dance
Anyway, back to you GH. I'm sorry that you have to go through this...hell sorry that we have all had to go through our own personal hells so to speak. Sorry that today is an important day to you.
Not sure if you have been reading my thread over in Survived the D, but this afternoon I'll be putting my 20yr cat to sleep for the very last time. 20yrs...through one long marriage and another long R. She's been with me since she was just a mere 6wks old. I was pretty traumatized this am, crying hysterically as I held her knowing that this was the hardest thing I would ever do in my life but had to do. Trying to find some strength in me to even make the call. My exH who promised me just a couple of days ago to be there for me, chickened out, he can't be there he said. So I face it alone. Of course, to add insult to injury, he thinks our daughter should go. But from somewhere I pulled this Scarlett O'Hara strength out of me and I'm doing it...and I'm done with all the crap in my life. I needed someone, anyone today and realized there is no one here...no one to hold me, comfort me when I need them...and somehow my friend, I'm pulling through this...and the feeling I have inside right now is something I can't even begin to describe. Anyway why am I spilling out here...because I've got to move on and keep a promise to my daughter about a Vday dinner for her and her BF tonight. I can choose to sit here and contine to mourn for my loss or I can come back with a fighting vengeance that noone including myself has ever seen.
Same thing for you my friend. You are not a victim here, you have control over your life...You've made excellent progress in such a short amount of time. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! You've got some excellent advice from OT and NYS here...when you get down on yourself, you need to go back and reread some of what they have been telling you.
Thank goodness I am not you, because I would have told W that she was not welcome to the dinner with you and the boys, that she had changed and interrupted too many plans to fit into her own schedule. I would have taken back the gift to VS and not gotten her anything. But that's just the new me...sorry.
