Wow OT, I'm glad you didn't heed my warning...lol.
So, my advice to you would be to put her on probation for a month or 6 weeks. You do not need to share this with her, it is a tool for you to master your own role in this mess.
I REALLY appreciate your words but these in particular were of note to me. I have already done this. It started about 2 weeks ago and will culminate with my Ireland trip. I decided to implement personal goals (see my post about my changes) and see what happened with my R. So far, sorta good. I have always had in the back of my mind that when we come back from Ireland I will re-evaluate things and see if I want to proceed. It is not an ultimatum, just a point on the horizon that I can focus on and not get TOO discouraged with things. Even before your post that got me thinking a lot, I guess I realized that I am choosing to endure this. To do that, I need internal help. The time thing helps me feel like even though I am taking a lot of $hit from her, I am only going to do it for xx amount of time. Of course, that time gets extended but it's just a coping tool so wth. I know it's also a form of self promoted denial but hey, it's better than drugs at this point. Please, keep an eye on me. I really appreciate your opinion (especially when it's a little softer like this time )
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