NYS. Valentines day is the day I proposed to my W. It has always been a VERY special day for us and we have always celebrated it as such.... but for me it is VERY personal

Well, either cling to it and suffer, or let it go. Those are your choices. Bottom line is that you're still the one attaching the meaning to the date. We all have a date we met, date we proposed, anniversary, first date, on and on. Sorry to sound harsh about this. It's time to reframe how you look at 2/14. It was what it was back then, and shall always be, but today it does not have that significance, unless you give it that preeminence.

And you're not in that kind of relationship at this moment. Its like you wearing a suit that doesn't fit and then feeling blah because it doesn't feel right.

Ok, now for the worse news. I think made a mistake and lost my only two live humans that I talk to about this. I told them about tonight and they flipped on me. They basically said they could not help me anymore since I am choosing to let this happen. As if I LET anything happen.

Screw them.

I called my W to "talk"

Was that because you're looking toward W to comfort and soothe your upset?

I was convinced that if she could be THIS cold as to blow off our tradition and hurt me this much for HIM, then I was done.

Good Lord. man. She's a Walk-Away!!! She's NOT a "wife" right now!

I CAN control what I do and I am not totally sure what I want to do, if anything.

You don't have to anything but focus on yourself without her thumbprint on you.

Whatever else happens is up to, well, God?

Personally, I don't think so, unless God's culpable for people having affairs. I think the Bible puts it nicely in Proverbs somewhere... that we're all like fish in the sea and can be snared up in a net, that chance and unforeseen circumstances affect us all (no one's doing anything to you, it's just life). And that, what you sow you reap, so for whatever you put into your sitch (cause), there'll be some sort of result (effect). And that the heart is treacherous and cannot be trusted (emotions are fickle and we cannot permit ourselves to be led by them as the results can hurt us rather than help us).