Thanks SS. Yea, it is the deeply personal significance of this day that is pulling me down. More of the usual "how could she" thinking that gets us nowhere but seems to creep in nevertheless. I have to work right up till when we are going to exchange, then take my S5 to karate, then we are off to enjoy the evening...without mommy. The real hurt will come when S5 says something insightful like "Don't you and mommy love each other. When people love each other on valentines day they go to dinner" or some similar thing. He has a knack for things like that. I am really struggling right now. I feel physically panicked like I used to in the early days. I can control it better now but it still scares me. I will keep you posted.
