or is it because of what you choose to associate with Valentine's Day?
NYS. Valentines day is the day I proposed to my W. It has always been a VERY special day for us and we have always celebrated it as such. Sure, there is the mass hysteria, but for me it is VERY personal. If I had no personal attachment to the day I doubt I would feel as bad as I do.
Ok, now for the worse news. I think made a mistake and lost my only two live humans that I talk to about this. I told them about tonight and they flipped on me. They basically said they could not help me anymore since I am choosing to let this happen. As if I LET anything happen. Of course, they got me more stirred up. I called my W to "talk" but thankfully she didn't answer the phone. What would I have done if she did? I would have asked her why she HAS to go out tonight and I would have pressed her for an answer. I would have asked her if she was serious about breaking things off with him, why do such damage to our R by going out with the OM.
Anyway, she didn't answer, I didn't leave a message and I suppose I will make up some lame reason why I called.
Tim. Somewhere I missed that your W was doing the OM thing tonight too. I'm sorry for that, but you seem to be in a good mood. I wish I was. I am really fighting with this one. You know, in all our minds, we come up with these deal breakers that we think will give us just enough pushing to take matters into our own hands and end our M. For me, leading up to V-day, her going out with OM was one of those things. I was convinced that if she could be THIS cold as to blow off our tradition and hurt me this much for HIM, then I was done. Well, I guess I am not done, but it does put another nail in the coffin. If she indeed is not doing what it looks like she's doing, then so be it. I can't know or control that but as we all say around here, I CAN control what I do and I am not totally sure what I want to do, if anything. Once again, I am going out with my boys tonight. Whatever else happens is up to, well, God?
