I feel your pain so much right now....my W isn't going out on a date tonight (as far as I know), but I do know they exchanged gifts last night (and yes, this was after my W told me that she had ended things with him). So, I kinda know where you're coming from.
I know I'm probably the worst person in the world right now to offer advice, but BELIEVE me, you must find that center, you must not focus on what she is doing (do you know for certain that is what she is doing?) and you must detach as much as humanely possible.
Yes, it is primal, but what separates us from the apes my friend is the ability to categorize and control our emotions. You will have to try and let it slide to the best of your ability. You're right. THIS SUCKS. But the choice to follow through with our M's has been OUR choice, and we must accept the ups and downs and the consequences.
One thing I have been thinking about lately is that I know that whatever our WAS's are up to, it cannot last forever. At some point they will have to make the choice that will be right for them...without our help and without our intervention. The best thing we all can do right now in our sitch is to let them ride it out, be supportive and do not cage them in. I really despise this saying, but damn if it ain't applicable: If you love someone, set them free. If them come back to you, yadda yadda. You get the picture. We must set them free if we have any chance of ever getting them back from Planet WAS.
Please GH, do your venting here....try to focus on you and what you and your boys will be doing. Don't focus on her..
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
