Well, I'd suggest picking up a couple of books and read them, or get them on audio.
The 5 Love Languages Divorce Busting Divorce Remedy
Those are fantastic, especially the first one. You'll need to do some work and evaluation of your wife to fully understand what makes her tick. Usually we are speaking to our significant others in terms of which have great meaning to us but little meaning to them. It's like a baseball player giving their favorite bat to a hockey player...it just doesn't have the same meaning. It also shows that you don't really know her.
Forgiveness is tough...but the good news is that the path to it lies soley in your hands and no one elses. So with a little hard work and determination...you can get there. I'll give you a few things to ponder, and I'll stay around as long as you're willing to do the work. Otherwise it's a waste of mine and your time.
First, I'd start by taking a good hard look at yourself. You're wife didn't just go have an EA because she was bored. I'm not saying she doesn't have some responsibility here, but we're gonna focus on the things within your control. What's important here is not being right, it's being able to fully put yourself in your wifes shoes and show compassion and genuine understanding. How you can see how she could make that choice. I'm not asking you to agree with it, I'm asking you to unconditionally accept it. One step for you to begin with is to immediately stop pointing the finger and saying things like "she" this or "she" that. I want you to start work on phrasing things in the context of how you feel.
okay, let's start with that. Over and Out.
Nickel
"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy."
