Ok, So I figure I had better post an update as there may be some curious folks out there....

I went ahead with the plan...mostly as planned. I did modify some parts of it, to tone some areas back, but it all went as I had figured it would. I got home early to prepare the house and put the treasure hunt in place, fix dinner etc. By the time my wife got home, she was exhausted and "not feeling well", as I suspected would be the case. She and the kids did the treasue hunt, kids had a ball and were totally oblivious as to the fact that there were things in the packages that were just for mom. She casually ignored the black nightie and boxers, just left them where they were and continued on to the next clue with the kids. She enjoyed dinner and seemed to really love her gifts. Then she said she wasn't feeling well and went to bed. By the time I got the kids down and asleep she was out cold. I have learned from experience to under no circumstance wake her up for anything, so I just let it go.

I spent the rest of the evening working very hard to remember that I spent all the time for the enjoyment of it, not just for sex, but in all honesty I was disappointed. I really thought I had come up with the perfect plan that would light her fire in a way that I had been unable to in the past, but... her 10 hours of sleep came first.

This isn't easy for me.. but I know I need to figure out how to deal with it. My wife always asks me to not take it personally, as it is not meant to be a personal slam. She says the problems are within her, that she loves me and appreciated what I do for her, she just can't SHOW that in any kind of physical way right now.

My MC is also working with me on these issues (I just go on my own). I had a meeting yesterday where he told me I need to come to grips with the fact that I may never have sex again with my wife, and figure out how to deal with that fact, be ok with that, and find fulfillment in life through other ways. I am trying to work on it.. I just know it is not easy when I have a natural physical attraction to my wife and am a very HD person. But as the MC quotes from the Bible..

"But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you."

I know that is easier said than done... but I am trying to comet grips with all of this.