Wow - I really hate to say this. I would just love all of that and believe me that kind of attention to detail would definately get H some. Then again, I am HD. Then again, he rarely, if ever, does anything like that so it would be truly special. It sounds as if you do things like that routinely. It is who you are. If things were happy and healthy between you it would be a happy, healthy routine. Things are obviously, not ok so it seems contrived and manipulative to your W.
Try this:
Make the treasure hunt for your kids. Light the candles, have the nice family dinner. Give your W a card and a hershey's kiss (like Corri said) and just say, "I love you honey. Happy Valentine's Day." Save the really cool CD thingie for Mother's Day in May. For once, don't go over the top. A scaled down Valentines will match the state of the relationship better and will seem more authentic.
Then "hold onto yourself" emotionally and hope for a truly affectionate hug, kiss and I love you back. Nothing more. Then steel yourself to work on the R through less creative means - honesty, discussion, counseling, boundaries. Sux but that seems to be the only way that anyone gets anywhere.
Karen
PS Happy Valentine's Day. I would think that all that stuff was VERY cool!
