As I have said in my other posts and topics, I am extremely HD, while my wife is LD/ND. This has caused many problems as we struggle with dealing with the ramifications of this on a regular basis. What tends to happen is this. My wife is typically very angry when the sex subject comes up and reacts angrily when I initiate. So my brain interprets her reaction as "she doesn't like sex under "normal" conditions. So, being a creative person, I come up with "Other places or ways" for us to have fun.
For example, one night my wife came home and I had the kids gone for the evening. I had converted the room into an island theme, complete with decorations, torches, tiki coconut cups, background music, the works... very elaborate... I then had some games that were not necessarily sex games, but regular games with a little more of an adult twist meant to be fun in a no-pressure kind of way. I called the night "Survivor: Marriage" after the Survivor show that we are both fans of. Unfortunately, I learned that when my wife says she doesn't like sex, that means in ANY context, and simply changing the environment doesn't change anything about the experience. I thought it was kind of cool, but that's just me.. So I struck out badly on that one.
I have done similar things over the years to both try to make it fun and to get some attention. In my mind, the more work I put into it, the harder it will be for her to say no. But to her, when I do things like this, it just adds pressure and makes for a miserable night for her.
Sooooo, on to the REAL question for today. Tomorrow is Valentines Day, a holiday (Like most) that I totally go all out for. I have had a lot of very elaborate "Valentines Day" dates in the past, I just make sure to not initiate any kind of sexual component to keep her happy. As always, I have specific plans. But this year, I want to see how these plans may come across the the average LD/ND person to see if I am in for a rough night BEFORE it is too late! So, to any LD folks out there, read my plans and tell me how you might respond, as I AM trying to get a more sexual reaction this year. (I know, I am bucking for trouble, here...)
In early Jan, I designed a poster with pictures of both of us on it and a special message for my wife. I sent that to a puzzle company and had them turn it into a 100 piece puzzle. I then came up with my "Top 100 reasons why I love her" list. On the back of each puzzle piece, I put one of the reasons. Then, starting over a month ago, I gave her 3 pieces each day. Each day the pieces were hidden in a different place that she would stumble across (In her makeup bag, in her desk at work, etc.) so for the last month, she's been receiving these. She'll find the last 3 tomorrow.
Now, this year Valentines Day falls on a weekday, and a busy one at that with kids sports, etc. She won't get home until after 7, so there is little time. But when she gets home, the house will be all lit by candles (It's a tradition for the kids too, to get them into the VD spirit, so this won't be out of the ordinary for them, just Dad being Dad on Valentines day) When she gets home, I'll immediately start her on a VD treasure hunt with a clue as to where something is hidden in the house. This will entertain the kids too as they can help. Each clue will lead her to part of the house where she will find a bag and the next clue. In each "package" will be something for the kids, valentines treats, etc. and the next clue. On that piece of paper clue will be 2 notes, one for her to read outloud, that the kids can hear, pointing them to the next clue, and a note just for her to read to herself, something a little more erotic and fun in an adult sort of way. Also in each package, there will be the small gift or candy for the kids, and then under a "false bottom" to the bag, she will find something that is for later, for her eyes only. By the time she has found all the clues, she will have found things such as a nice black nightie, some silk boxers for me, sparkling cider bottle, lotion, etc. as well as her Valentines Day gifts, and the last puzzle pieces. (This way it is balanced, not just sex stuff)
After the treasure hunt, we'll have dinner, and then open VD presents. This year as budgets are low, I am giving her something that I put alot of time and thought into. In the evenings after she goes to sleep (typically out cold by 9) I have been converting all of her high school video tapes into a digital format, scanning all her old high school photos on the computer and editing all this down into the equivalent of a TV season box set of DVDs. It will be 6 DVD's of stuff all edited, cleaned up, set to music in some cases, full interactive menu's... (I work in video production,,, can you tell?) I also prepared a "Teaser DVD" that we will watch after dinner. This is a 5 minute video of her favorite high school songs, with footage from high school, photos, etc. all put together, almost an advertisment for the full DVD box set. I am excited about it all coming together after a month and a half of work, and as she graduated in the 80's... cleaning up that old footage took some work! But I think she'll like it, and I hope she is pleased with all the time and effort.
So we eat dinner, we open gifts.. (Her DVD's) and then we'll put the puzzle together that she has been collecting for the last month. She can finally see the full design on one side and the "100 reasons" on the other. (The kids have loved hearing where all the pieces are hidden each day and following this whole crazy hting, so they'd be bent if they couldn't help put it together) Then I'll get the kids to bed and (hopefully) we can then get out the fun items from the treasure hunt and spend some alone time, just the 2 of us, celebrating valentines day.
So... that is the plan, that is how I have it all worked out.. But again the question goes out to the LD spouses out there... If your HD partner did all that above and put that much time and effort into planning an evening in such a way that it appealed to both the kids and you (keeping the kids safe from the sexual side, while unbeknownest to them, teasing you), and putting that much thought time and effort into a VD gift.. would it affect you? Would it make you feel bad? Would it make you say "You put so much into this that I'll feel like a schmuck if I don't let you do it, so let's get it over with" (Likely result), Or would you be genuinely happy and turned on about it. If I am setting myself up for another long night of "pulling stunts to get sex"arguments and accusations, I may need to alter my plans a bit or tone it down. That is why I am posing my plans to all of you good people, so I can get some feedback.
