Of course you're right. I hate it when other people are right.
Oh, and we've already had baby discussions. I had to tell him I stopped taking the pill. I also didn't want him to think he could come back partially and not be fully committed, like he was after his first A.
Anyway, thinking of why men cheat reminds me of Moonstruck. There's a scene where the mom, (Olympia Dukakis) asks why men cheat. The answer, "maybe because they fear death." I sometimes wonder if this really isn't so far from the truth, particularly as my H first went off the deep end right before his dad died.
I'm also realizing I have a lot of anger toward my H relating to his refusal to grow up and be responsible. For as long as I've known him I've always had to be the one to make sure things were done, bills were paid, vacations were planned. The only thing he ever planned for us was our wedding when we eloped.
While I scrimp and save he feels free to spend as much money as he wants, and plans vacations with his friends. It doesn't help that if I tell him we don't have money for something he will ask his mother for money, which she puts into an account I cannot access.
It is not just my perception that he places others before me. It is reality. He can tell me I'm more important, but, frankly, words are meaningless when actions tell otherwise. He has gone on trips with his friends every year and has not planned a single vacation with me. Also, several times I've planned trips for us, at the last minute he's refused to go.
I've pretty much made up my mind that if he doesn't pull himself together by the end of the year I'm going to file for D. We will have been living apart for a year and I can file a no-fault D.
I know the things I've done wrong, made an effort to let him know he's appreciated and loved and let go of some the the petty things I obsess over. Now it's time for him to decide what scares him more, growing up or living without me.
