boy do I relate, my H is only with me for 2.5 days due to job training, as he is about to leave I already get the blues.
I'll play devil's advocate here for a while. Even after my H left and after months of me realizing how much of a witch I was being there was much to learn. AFter he came back, during our Cs, as we started dealing our issues as a couple I came out as abrassive. I almost jumped at any thing I didnt'agree w/my H, there were still many things I had to learn.
I just posted about this book "the proper care and feeding of Hs" I really, really want you to get it today, I had no idea it talked so much about what leads many men to As and how we women alianate our men. I started remembering the few times my H dared to open up and tell me "you treat your family and friends better than me" and I'll be all like "NO I DO NOT!!"... and now that i think back, I did have him in the lowest step of my ladder.
Though I do agree w/you that you guys should talk and that you should be able to tell him that you don't feel right. Explain how exactly, you want him to make you feel important, I had to explain my H how I wanted him to make me feel better when I get the blues, he frankly had no idea what would make me feel better, and was surprised that just him holding me would make me feel alright.
As you bring up the baby, make sure you bring it up lovingly, don't go "my cousing Vinnie" on me (picture Marissa Tomei stomping "my biological clock is ticking!!)
I'm glad you had a good Tksgiving together, my H also felt funny last year coming to my family's (only a sister knew abour him leaving, no one knows about his A).
Being alone does put loads of crap in one's head, fill your nights and spare time w/projects and good books, get the book I suggested, get "how to heal the hurt in your marriage" another wonderful wonderful book that got me out of my funks.
Over all, please slow down and give it time ok? count all the blessings, he is w/you now. Don't despair, give yourself permission to feel bad but don't wallow on negative thoughts.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
