Oh SS.... I know how you feel. I was exactly in the same place back in May a day or two after I confronted the OW. It took me close to a month to really get myself back to normal.
Positively Listening had some good advice, and I hope you find it benificial. I kind of agree with some of her thoughts on your sit; it still was a lot about H and OW, and not YOU. What YOU want. You have that choice. You don't have to wait around for H to make his. Ask yourself:
"If I met my H now, at this point in my life, the way he is in now, would I want him?"
It may be good for you to distance yourself, b/c if H needs help, he can only help himself. You can't do it for him. And if you stick around trying to always pick up the pieces, it gets you into a codependent state....
What is it that YOU like to do? Writing? Reading? Going out to coffee shops? Do you have many friends in the area? What about joining a professional organization? Anything, just anything to get your mind of H and intersted in a new activity... I know it certainly helped me get through the tough times this summer. I took up a painting course, bought a bunch of books, went out with friends, and joined a social networking group, just to get out and meet new people and build a new, and better, life for myself- and one that was whole independent from H. Now it feels like the sky is the limit- I can do and explore anything I want, etc. I'm actually going trying rock climbing now this weekend; something I always wanted to do but was difficult to make time for in the past due to obligations to H and family. Anyways, I know it all looks bleak now, and really, you need a bit of time to mourn everything. But also you need to heal YOURSELF too, to do those things, whatever they are, that make you feel whole and good again. And if you don't know what those things are- experriment. It's scary at first, but it gets easier every time...
Anyways, just know we're here if you need,
PF
PetiteFlower
Quote: Follow Your Bliss
~Joseph Campbell
