My H spent the night again yesterday and we had a really nice time together. We got take out and went to a park by the Potomac River to watch the planes as they were taking off and landing. It was significant not only because it's a place I love to go and my H is not a fan of, but because he doesn't really like picnicking.
I think he has started taking real steps, not just baby ones. In the past when we would be parking the car he would get annoyed if I drove around looking for a space. He made a point of telling me that he's not going to do that anymore. And, while we were eating and the wind started picking up, I thanked him for going to the park with me as I know it's not his thing. He said he was happy just to spend time with me.
He also apologized for all the things he used to do that drove me nuts. I told him that I was sorry too. And, I said, I was sorry for making him fish for compliments and that it was just that I didn't understand how he didn't have confidence in himself. I think he really appreciated that.
He summed up what happened to our M as such: "If it had been you and me against the world we'd be OK. But it was you and me against each other."
But, most significantly, my H said he is taking things slow because he wants to make sure things are really going to be fixed if we stay together, not just swept under the carpet like last time.
Man how scary is this? I guess that's why falling in love is usually accompanied by lots of endorphins to distract us from how much faith and trust we are putting in another human being. If it wasn't, few would probably be willing to take the leap.
I kinda feel like I'm gearing up to take one of those trust falls where you lean backward and trust someone will catch you.
