I am feeling very much at the end of my rope with my H. It took him two days to call me and let me know he had arrived home safely. And then it was just to say he'd be mailing me a check and that he'd be in touch in a couple days to talk.
Frankly I'm not sure what there is to talk about. Either he wants to work on our M or he's going to sign papers so we can D. I'm tired of waiting for him to make a decision. I just don't see how we can ever repair our M if he won't answer my phone calls (I have to leave a message and then he calls back) and he doesn't want to spend time with me.
I called him today to see if we could get together and of course he didn't answer his phone. So I stupidly left a message that I was assuming he didn't want to get together or he'd have answered and that if he changed his mind to call later that day. If he didn't call I'd assume he was going to sign papers for a property settlement so I could file for a divorce and that I'd pick up the papers on Monday.
Honestly, how can he really believe he's being truthful when he tells me he loves me and misses me if he doesn't want to spend time with me? When you miss someone you come to see them as soon as you can.
All his words indicate we have something left to save but all his actions indicate otherwise.
I love my H and would love to make things right again but I am no longer sure that I would be able to do that. I can forgive a lot but I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust him again or to feel safe that he isn't going to suddenly go wacko again and leave me.
I really feel it is time for him to make a decision here. Or am I just being impatient?
