You sound calmly sad, which is not really a bad thing. Angry sad is worse I think, most of the time.
I know you hurt and want to know what's going to happen but I think you see that your patience is paying off, at least a bit.
As for your friend, in the past, has she been a supporter of you and your marriage? Is she pissed you didn't tell her because she was there for you in the really bad times and since him contacting you is GOOD in her eyes, and not telling her the GOOD is not fair? OR, is it just that she feels left out on some good gossip?
If it's the former, then I think she has a little right to be upset...well, actually, she has every right in the world to FELL however she wants, but I think if she is a true friend, and true supporter (which I suspect she may not be anymore if SHE's having an A now) then maybe you are ok worrying a bit about her feelings.
If she's just in search of gossip, then hell no, don't give it another thought.
I think you need to focus on you and let her do her thing. It's obvious that you disagree with her current sitch so she may serve to only be a distraction to you, the kind you probably don't need.
I hope you start to feel less sad. Actually I KNOW you will. These things come and go and we are left, usually ok, sometimes a little bruised, but on the whole, better than we were before.
