Things in our M have not been consistently bad for the entire two years. That's just when we started having major problems. I had quit my job and wanted to move across the country and went on a road trip with my sister unsure of whether I wanted to come back--I did. A few months later, his dad died, he had his first A, he wanted to leave (and did for a couple weeks) and get a D but then changed his mind.
We had (at least I thought) recovered but then we hit the first anniversary of his dad's death last July and BAM, my H went right back to La La Land. So last summer he began to go out drinking every night after work with his coworkers and would come home at midnight. He was only here at night when we were sleeping and sometimes on weekends if he didn't claim he had to work.
By Thanksgiving I had learned about his first A and my H was pushing for me to move out to which I said basically f-you. I figured he wanted out so he should leave. We negotiated and I agreed to stay with a friend in January. After I moved out he started his second A--which I think is still going on but is showing signs of fizzling.
I moved back in our apartment in February and he moved out and stayed with a friend for a month and then got his own apartment in March. Later that month he went with ow#2 on a business trip and she met my MIL. When he returned he began to show signs he was losing interest in her.
We were supposed to go to a couple's weekend in April but he bailed a few hours before we were to go. I told him the weekend was a chance for us to say goodbye and that we couldn't be friends. (Throughout this I said the worst part of us splitting was the loss of his friendship. When he came back from the trip he had said wanted to be friends too.)
He said he wasn't ready to say goodbye and he says he isn't 100 percent sure anymore that he wants a D (not a surprise to me.) Then a few weeks ago I decided it was time for him to buck up and make a decision. Either he has to work on our M, or I am filing for D.
The more I push for a decision or suggest that things are truly finished between us, the more he drags his feet. Case in point, leaving the country for a month and not signing the paperwork, effectively preventing me from filing for a D.
Sometimes I just feel like he wants to keep his options open with me while he plays around.
So I guess there's a quick summary for those of you not familiar with my sitch.
