Right back at you. How have YOU been?? Inquiring minds want to know.
Anyway. To tell you the truth sometimes I'm not sure how I am. At the moment I'm in the process of filing for a no fault D. Yes, that's right. I'm planning on filing.
Honestly, the idea of being divorced terrifies me. Not being alone, but no longer having that connection to my H. I can see that he doesn't really want to be without me and he said "this is worse than my dad dying" of our M breaking up, but still he hasn't taken any concrete steps toward reconciliation.
So, I guess after 5 months of living apart, him spending the month before that on business and several months before that with him not coming home until midnight because he was out drinking, I've reached my limit. He has a business trip coming up and a close friend's bachelor party that he has to go to which I can handle even though he'll be gone for three weeks. But, before that, he's going to be abroad for a coworker's wedding and he is going to be with the ow on the trip. I've decided that I will NOT forgive him for taking her to a wedding. To top it off, vacations had always been an issue in our M and he never wanted to go on vacation with me. When he goes to this wedding with her it will mean he has been on as many vacations with her as he has with me. I cannot, will not, get past that.
I guess I just decided enough is enough. The sad thing is the last time I saw my H (almost a month ago) we had a really good talk and ended up ML. Of course I think each of these times we get close then he gets scared and runs. But, frankly, I'm tired of this game of his.
I know he was a bit surprised when I told him I was filing (on June 9). The only thing that will stop me from filing is if he decides not to go to this wedding.
I guess I've reached the end of the rope and have decided that any further effort is going to have to be on his part. I'm alternately really mad, at peace, and sobbing over this.
Tomorrow we're going to sign a property settlement agreement and then while he's gone I'm going to file my complaint for divorce. We could be divorced by the end of next month
Of course I always have felt that we are the kind of couple to divorce and then get married again. I guess time will tell.
