I understand what you are saying, BUT, I think often we let our pride get in the way. The problem last time was not how I went about getting him back. It was that after we made up we slipped back into our old behaviors.
I think the major thing I have gotten out of DBing is to understand my role in all of this. I am not an innocent victim. And, excluding my H's current behavior and his affairs, I probably contributed more to the problem. I was an incredible control freak and I definitely did not fight fair, saying terrible things to him when we argued.
But I am going to do whatever it takes to get him to the point where he's willing to work on our M. When we get to that point we can worry about rebuilding our R in a way that involves equal power sharing. I guess I'd just rather be with my H that worry about who's boss.
