I think these boards and the entire DB philosophy are really about living with dignity. Certainly, with the main aim of saving your marriage - and by following the "rules" or the principles of DBing i.e.
Get a life Act as if Don't pursue No relationship talk; but above all - Baby steps and PATIENCE ...
you are making yourself healthy enough to be in a mature relationship with your spouse.
This stuff doesn't happen over night - indeed most of the real "success" stories happen after loving LBS have DBd for a long long time - often over a year.
Quote: I got my H back the last time by calling him and seeing him. I wish I had never moved out for that month and given him space. People break up because they don't spend enough time together. What we really need is to spend more time together so he can see the positive side of me. So I'm going to call him every day and stop by his office, and generally do whatever it takes to see him.
You may have "got him back" with that tactic - but it didn't last did it? You may wear him down again, but calling him and dropping in to see him - but who has the power in that relationship - it's him - he can treat you whatever way he wants to and he knows you will bounce back up and pursue him. He is unlikely to respect you for that. You are unlikely to respect you for that.
It's a free world my friend, and you can decide to DB or not to DB - but really is there any alternative to living as a complete person, who respects herself and has an interesting and varied life. That's all DBing is really about.
Take care,
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
