Believe me, I have a hard time remaining optimistic about things too. That's why I made it a daily goal. I'm just so tired of things being difficult all the time. I thought it couldn't hurt to try to see even the worst crap as having at least a little good.
This morning I got a call from my H bright and early to arrange a swap of financial documents. He gave me his paycheck I gave him his new checks and bank cards. It was very odd. I called him when I got close to his office and he was standing outside waiting when I got there. I pulled up in my car, rolled down the window and handed a packet to him. He handed me an envelope. We exchanged a few brief words. I drove off.
Man, I felt like I was making a covert drop-off.
So I'm going to need some suggestions as to how I can show him I've made positive changes if these are my only interactions. This morning when he called I did manage to hang up so quick that he had to call me right back to ask a second question but that's not quite going to cut if I want to show him I'm not the horrible person he imagines.
Here's another question. I think tomorrow is my SIL's birthday. It's either tomorrow or March 17. She does not particularly like me and I suspect actively lobbies my H against me but I still think it would be nice to send her an e-card. I figured I'd write something like. "I was looking at the calendar and I seemed to remember it was your Birthday. Happy 26th Birthday. (Then again my memory is failing and I could be a month off--oops.) Anyway hope you have a great day."
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I want to be able to show my H that I do care about his family because he cares about them. (Even though my MIL and SIL have not been that nice or friendly to me.) My relationship with them has been a pretty big factor in our M being on the rocks. They are constantly putting my H in a position where he has to choose them or me. I can accept that I am never going to win but it irritates me that they are constantly making him choose. It's not healthy.
But back to the positive, I'm slowly trying to work toward some semblance of order in my work space. I haven't been a full-time reporter for almost two years and I'm only just getting the files I brought home under control. Feng Shui makes a big deal about clutter being a negative. I left my job because it was driving me crazy and then I brought all that negative energy home with me and have let it just sit and stew for two years. Goodbye clutter. If I can let go of my H not being the man I thought I can certainly let go of files I haven't used in all this time.
